10 Easy Ways to Completely Avoid Housework

Hate cleaning your house? You’re not alone. If you can honestly admit you enjoy pulling on a rubber glove and shoving it down a toilet then you’re a better person than most. Housecleaning is one of those chores that apparently needs to be done on a regular basis. Frankly, I just don’t see the point. Two minutes after you wipe the dust away, a new layer forms. It’s a never-ending battle and since I’m a pacifist, I generally try to avoid any unwanted confrontations. Here’s 10 ways to avoid the battle:

1. Live in a hotel. It works for celebrities.

2. Hire someone else to clean. Millions do.

3. Fall down the stairs and break your ankle. You can’t be expected to vacuum or dust with a cast on your leg.

4. Always wear a blindfold. What you can’t see, you can’t clean.

5. Spend every waking hour shopping for products that will make cleaning the house easier. You may never use them but it’s the thought that counts.

6. Live alone and never have company over. As long as you can stand your own mess…

7. Become a pack rat. Fill every available space in your house with junk. Make it impossible to manoeuvre the vacuum.

8. Make your husband and kids pee outside. This cuts down on the time needed to scrub the bathroom walls, especially if your boys can’t aim straight. Better yet install an outhouse in the backyard. I’m sure the neighbours wouldn’t mind.

9. Become a writer or artist. A messy house goes with the whole creative vibe.

10. Give your house to away to charity and become homeless. Life on the street will be dirty and difficult but at least you won’t have a house to clean.